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Issue no. 15

Apr 22, 2025

Apartments/Living Spaces/Growing Up

An old friend recently moved into a beautiful apartment. It is the sort of space that transports you back in time to the era when Bill Cunningham was one of many artists living on top of Carnegie Hall and Leonard Bernstein would watch the Macy’s Day Parade from his Upper West Side apartment. It is the sort of space that feels like the setting for Salinger’s New York family in Franny and Zooey. It is classic New York in the truest sense. Location, detailing, and a landline phone in the kitchen that you spin the numbers around to call down to the front desk—and a bathroom that you’d half expect Liza Minelli to emerge from. The dream-inducing effect of the space can be attributed to how the fantasy of places like this are often written off as lost to the past. In an era in which the norm is the four white walls of heartless renovation, it is uplifting and inspiring to dream of spaces that were made to last. It is encouraging as a young person to see something that feels like it has been around for a while and deserves to remain, no matter how the city changes.

Thinking about this apartment has launched me into a state of reflection about the idea of housing consistency. Many people talk about moving around New York and the experience of finding new apartments; and every person sub-30 that I know practically salivates at the thought of being able to find a place where they could kick their feet up and put down their proverbial hat for a long while. An interesting conundrum arises because, while I deeply feel this desire to plant roots in a physical home, I do think that a lot of good comes from moving around and finding new places to live. In my second year living here I feel that I have greatly benefited from being able to live in two different neighborhoods in different living experiences, but even still I cannot shake the idea that it would be very nice to settle down somewhere. Once this thought comes around, my brain counters with “But I am young! This is the time to roam and to wander and to explore. This is the time to NOT settle down!” My concluding realization is that this is youth. Being young is living through the contrasting desires of wanting life to settle while also trying to figure out how to take advantage of the inherent lack of stability. I guess that living spaces are one of the battlefields on which the conflict of growth persists.

Quarter of a Century

I reached my quarter century mark shortly after the last edition. I had a spectacular weekend leading into it. I got to celebrate another friend’s birthday on Friday night at Karaoke that turned into a series of adventures that resulted in arriving home with the sun before a full shift at the stamp store. My birthday itself was wonderful. I worked for part of the day and then read An Ideal Husband by Oscar Wilde with Dram-O-Rama and finished the night at one of my favorite places in the city. I threw a gathering on the following Friday and am very grateful for those that were in attendance. I made everyone a stamp that made me think of them and we played a series of games during a mini pub crawl around the block.

Turning 25 was certainly a moment for reflection. This is the first age that I really do not Feel. It makes sense and it feels appropriate, but there is a distinct dissonance between the intellectual notion of being around for a quarter of a century and what it is for me to be living in this moment. My most substantial realizations and reflections have revolved around letting go. In the days leading up to my birthday I was looking through documents from birthdays past. I had written a lot about turning 24 and considered both the continuity of how that point a year ago flows to now and also the ways that this past year altered the person that wrote those thoughts. Going into 24 I wanted a lot from the world. I was hoping for a lot of things and had a strong desire to align with the world in a way that would move me “forward”. This time around I felt far more at peace. Maybe it is because in some way I achieved my color swatch of ambitions for the age, or maybe it is the inevitable outgrowth of patterns of thought and realizations of lack of individual control, but, regardless, proceeding into this new year my priorities revolve around trusting in work and confidence. I grew a great deal being 24 and am curiously anticipating what I will make of the next year.